Bishounen Squad
by icemiko21
Summary: Yami, Yugi and Joey can't take Tea's friendship speeches anymore, but what will happen when they join forces with Kaiba to do something about it? Read and Review!


Shilly+ Peggy: Hi!  
Shilly: Welcome to our fic!

Peggy: We were bored, so we wrote this!  
Shilly: This is my first fic… well sort of…  
Peggy: she won't tell me what her first fic was grumbegrumble smelly child…  
Shilly: and you'll never know cackles MWAHAHAHA… begins to choke coughcough yes… anyway Peggy has some fics as Peggy-chan the Anime Fan…

Peggy: yes… cheerleading outfit READ AND REVIEW! WHOOHOO!  
Shilly: . yeessss… anyways please read and review bishounen Squad and remember…

**Yami and Kaiba in tight leather, singing:** Yu-gi-Oh, Yu-gi-oh, it's not their show! We don't belong to them, because Yu-Gi-Oh ain't their show! Lalalalala  
Peggy: yeah, that's right, rub it in… grunt  
Shilly: On with the fanfic!

**Chapter-1 **

**Bishounen Squad by Shilly and Peggy**

It was a bright sunny day in Domino. A pretty birdie was flying round the sky, searching for twigs to make his nest. Oh look, Mr. Birdie a twig perfect for making your nest. Dive quickly now or else….

"BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON, WHITE LIGHTNING ATTACK!"

Mr. Birdie or rather Mr. Roast Birdie fell to the ground cooked to medium rare, making a delicious meal for rabid rodents and hobos to devour. Meanwhile, our hero, Kaib...err Yami, was locked in a fierce battle against his hot, sexy, yummy, leather clad, super tasty rival, Kaiba. And, before we continue, we just want to say that we are not fans of the sapphire-eyed, tightly clothed, super cute, yummylicious business tycoon a.k.a Seto Kaiba in the slightest. What made you think that?

"I will defeat you, Kaiba!" our hot (though not as hot as Kaiba) was saying punching a fist in the air.

"Your life points are down to 3000, you have no monsters on the field, and it's still my turn," Kaiba smirked "How will you defeat me?"

"I will beat you because I have… um… I have ….what do I have? Erm…uh…" For once our dashing pharaoh was lost for words. 'What do I have again?"

"Destiny on you side?" Kaiba supplied.

"No, that's not it…err…um…something else.

"The heart of the cards?" Yugi, his Kawaii hikari helped, humongous eyes blinking.

"Well, yeah there is that, but that's not what I was thinking of." Yami replied, tugging his hair (and getting cut in the process)

"Well DUH, isn't it like totally obvious?" Tea or more commonly known as the evil one giggled. "You silly-billy-fillies! Hee hee hee!"

"Is it pancakes?" Joey asked.

"Don't be stupid man," Tristan insulted, smacking Joey on the head. "It's mayonnaise! EVERYONE knows that!"

"Hey, we always have pancakes and mayo at our house! Hey Yami" Yugi called. "is it pancakes? Or mayo?"

"He's gonna beat me because he has mayonnaise? I have mayonnaise at home too, idiots." Kaiba snorted, inspecting his nails.

"Maybe it's prunes," Yami suggested. "It's always at our house, you know seeing as Grandpa has his little "bowel movement" problem.

"YAMII! You promised grandpa that you wouldn't tell anyone!" Yugi protested, smacking Yami's arm.

"Man, I really did not want to hear that," Tristan groaned.

"Dude, why do you keep calling us men?" Joey asked.

"Yeah Tea's not a man," Yami agreed.

"Are you sure?" Kaiba smirked.

"Well, yeah man, she wears a skirt." Tristan said

"Doesn't mean she's a girl though." Joey pointed out.

Yami cringed. "Eeeew, so does that mean she's a-"

"FRIENDSHIP is what you need, you sillies." Tea interrupted, a silly smile stretched across her hideous face.

"Yeah, friendship!" Yami cried, snapping his fingers, then paused. "No, wait, that's not it."

"FRIENDSHIP is the key to every victory." Tea went on relentlessly. "And it's FRIENDSHIP that makes winning worthwhile!"

"Great, you got her started." Kaiba growled angrily at Yami.

"Don't worry she can't possibly take that long." Yugi considered

**3 hours later**

"FRIENDSHIP is important! FRIENDSHIP is beautiful! FRIENDSHIP is Grrreat! Tea had been rambling on for almost three and a half hours about friendship.

Tristan was so annoyed, he had begun to cry, Joey and Yugi had begun to play the Third Ultimate Jacks Championship, the first two having been won by Yugi and Yami and Kaiba had given up finishing their duel, as Tea was shouting 'friendship' too loudly for them to concentrate on breathing, let alone dueling.

"Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale…" Yami was saying, trying to remember how to breathe.

Kaiba, who didn't need to remember how to breathe, because he could survive on his coolness, pressed a button on his trench coat. A glass and two panadols popped out on a tray. Kaiba swallowed both and rubbed his forehead. "Can't you make her shut up?" he asked his eyes twitching slightly.

"Unfortunately, no. How can your coat do that?" Yami asked.

"Latest in trench coat technology." Kaiba replied.

"Cool!" Yami said, and then stopped. Suddenly his face went blue and he began to hold his neck.

"Exhale, Yami." Yugi said bored.

He breathed out. "Thanks, Aibou. You know, this is the third time this week that Tea's rants almost killed me." Yami sighed.

"And that's a bad thing?" Kaiba asked, smirking.

"You are only being mean because you don't have to live with the Friendship speeches." Tristan sobbed. "I stubbed my toe once and she gave a speech on how friendship will stop my toe from aching!"

"Did it work?" Joey asked, throwing the jack ball in the air and trying to grab more jacks than Yugi.

"Man, they had to amputate my toe!" Tristan whined, then brightened. "On the plus side, I got a wooden one! Wanna see?" They stared.

"Okay, right, moving along" Kaiba said, "I think we should do something about this."

"You, moneybags, are going to work together with us?" Joey asked, staring.

"If we stop her, I'll benefit from it as much as you will." Kaiba pointed out.

"How about we ask nicely?" Yugi suggested.

"That won't work." Yami replied.

Suddenly Joey snapped his fingers, "Let's kill her!" he exclaimed victoriously. "Best idea you've had all your life." Kaiba smirked.

"Thanks…hey, wait a minute, what?" Joey asked.

"The idea does have its merits." Yami agreed thoughtfully, tapping his chin.

"Are you guys crazy? She's our friend!" Yugi protested.

Suddenly Tea skipped over to them. "Yugiiii!" she sang in a high pitched voice that could crack glass. "When I'm finished with this super-mega-ultra-frienderrific speech, let's get married and have lots of wonderful friendship loving children! With your ayes and my hair and love for friendship, pink, bunnies and Barney! I'm thinking a nice round number of children…like twenty! Sure we don't have money to support them, but love and friendship will guide us! Bye now!" And with that, she skipped away again and continued her speech.

"So, how will we kill her?" Yugi asked.

"I say we sneak into her house and stab her in her sleep." Kaiba suggested a glint in his eyes.

"Nah, pure evil people sleep with their eyes open. Let's poison her food!" Yami cheered.

"Let's form a group!" Joey said.

"A group? What do you mean?" Yami asked.

"We'll join forces to kill Tea!" Joey explained. "With Yugi's smarts, Yami's cunning, Kaiba's riches and my devastating good looks, she'll never know what hit her!"

"What about me?" Tristan asked, sniffing.

"You can't be part of the group, you're useless." Kaiba snorted.

"Besides, you like she-who-must-not-be-touched." Joey nodded.

Tristan reddened "I DO NOT!" he shouted, eyes welling up with tears.

"Of course you do, we read your diary." Yami added. "Yeah you said that her chin length brown hair blows in the wind and her sapphire eyes sparkle as she continues on the topic of friendship. How I wish that I may be this whimsical subject so that I may rest upon the full lips of this fanciful Greek goddess with the body of Aphrodite and the brains of Hera.

"What world do you live in/" Yugi taunted, laughing.

"Apparently, not this one." Kaiba said smirking. "Tea's as deep as a puddle and almost as smart."

"You guys are so MEAN!" Tristan sobbed, getting up and dusting himself off. "I hate you! Leave me alone!" And Tristan ran off crying.

"…That was weird," Joey commented "So, what should we be called?"

"How about…The Duelists?" Yami suggested, clenching his fist in the air.

"That's cheesy," Kaiba insulted "The Friendship Killers."

We're not trying to kill friendship, only Tea." Yugi pointed out. "Maybe…The Tea Murderers!"

"Nah they will be on to us. I think we should be called Joey & Co." Joey said doing a pose.

Kaiba kicked him and he fell flat on his face. "I'm not, joining a group with your name in the title, dog boy." Kaiba said. "It's bad enough I have to be in this show with part of his name in the title, being Yu-gi-oh, owned by Kazuki Takahashi not by Peggy or Shilly, all rights reserved." He added jabbing a thumb in Yugi's direction.

"How about the Bishounen Squad?" Yugi asked. 'You know, what with the screaming fan girls, and Bishounen meaning pretty boy and stuff …" he trailed off when he realized that everyone was staring at him. "Forget it."

"That's …a great idea! Yami cheered. "I'm all for the Bishounen Squad!

Joey slapped Yugi on the back. "That idea rocks!" he shouted.

Yugi blushed. "It's not that great." He denied bashfully. "What do you think Kaiba?"

"Not bad an idea." Kaiba shrugged. "That's what it says on my fan girls' picket signs when they're marching outside of Kaibacorp for three days straight."

"So you haven't gone home and showered for three days! Eeew that's disgusting, rich boy." Joey sniggered.

Kaiba rolled his eyes and kicked Joey, making him yelp in pain. "Don't be stupid. This trench coat has a built in shower." Kaiba explained.

"What doesn't that trench coat have?" Yami asked.

"Something to make your friend smarter or less annoying." Kaiba commented dryly. "Not even my latest technology can do that."

"Hey, who ya callin'dumb and annoying?" Joey growled.

"Tea" Kaiba replied smirking.

"…Oh." Joey coughed.

"But while we're on the subject of you intelligence…or lack of thereof," Kaiba continued folding his arms smugly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Joy growled.

""Guys, stop fighting! We have to work together for the greater good: eradicating the eyesore known as Tea!" Yugi exclaimed, stepping in between them. "We need a meeting place. But where?"

"How about Yugi's place?" Joey suggested.

"Tea always appears there so that's not a good idea." Yami declined. "Maybe Kaiba's house"

"No," Kaiba snapped. "I know a better place." He pressed a button on his collar. There was a whirring sound and three cards came out from a hidden slot in Kaiba's trench coat. Taking them he handed one to each of them. "There's the address be there at 10.00am tomorrow." He commanded.

They nodded. Suddenly, Yami grinned.

I just remembered what I was going to say," He grinned happily.

"Fate?" Yugi asked.

"A calculating mind talent?" Kaiba asked.

"A sandwich?" Joey asked.

'Nope" Yami grinned.

"Then what?" Everyone asked.

"A kick ass deck and really cool hair!" Yami crowed.

Everyone stared.

"Well, ya hair is certainly interesting bud." Joey said genially.

"Are you kidding? You can chop a tree down with that hair." Kaiba commented. They all stood up.

"If you go and cut a tree down." Yugi said

"You'll turn this smile in to a frown." Yami continued.

"But if you go and plant a tree." Joey added.

"It'll grow for all to see." Kaiba concluded.

"Promote Aforestation not Deforestation." They chorused, linking arms and facing the audience. Bowing, they broke apart and sat down again.

"We need a catch phrase." Joey said.

"How bout, instead of 'It's time to duel', it should be 'Its time to be cool'" Yami suggested.

"That…is the single most idiotic, cheesy, corny and overall stupid thing I ever heard." Kaiba insulted.

I Know how about 'Bishounen squad A Mystic Adventure' Yugi suggested.

"…Aibou, have you been reading Card Captor Sakura fanfics?" Yami asked curiously.

"Well, sorta. They're cool!" Yugi defended.

"Gundam wing fanfics are better." Kaiba replied offhandedly.

"No they're not! Most of them are nothing but sex-filled escapades of the pilots as they do each other! Yugi protested.

"Hey Kaiba, didn't know you swung that way." Joey sniggered.

Kaiba coughed. "It's none of your business how I swing." He snapped. "We'll think of something later. Just be at that place tomorrow at ten. You'll hear the password soon." Getting up, Kaiba turned and walked away. "See you geeks later."

"I swear if he wasn't helping us murder Tea I would have kicked his butt." Joey growled.

"At least Tea would be gone." Yami consoled.

"Yay, I just hope this works." Yugi said, pouting.

"I hope rich boy chose a good base." Joey commented.

"YUGIIIII" a familiar and unpleasant voice shrieked.

"Oh no" Yugi said faintly. "Hide me! "

She must be finished with her speech!" Joey exclaimed.

"Which means she's gonna…run, Aibou run! Yami shouted.

Yugi jumped up and ran off screaming.

Tea skipped up to Yami and Joey and sang "Do you guys wanna be bridesmaids? You'll get to wear dresses!"

Yami and Joey stared at each other and disappeared before Tea could even blink her eyes.

"Wait, you guys!" Tea shouted. "I don't have your dress sizes!" She ran after her friends, leaving a trail of pink bunnies in her wake.

And, at the duel site, a hobo strolled along, picked Mr. Roast birdie, and ate him.

Peggy and Shilly: Hi people! (Waves to fans)

Fans (all two of them) cheers

Peggy: Thanks for reading our fanfic!

Shilly: (Waves at everyone) yeah thanks! We love you! (Cough cough) Stokes Sesshoumaru plushie.

Peggy: Obsessed (Hugs Kai Plushie)

Shilly: I am not obsessed! (Still stroking Sesshoumaru plushie)

Peggy, Whatever. Read and Review our fans and we'll give you plushies!

Shilly: yep! Plushies of all your favorite Bishounen!

Peggy: So press the little button marked Go and review… or you'll be cursed with a talking Tea plushie! (Cracks evilly)

Shilly: Ignore her, she is crazy. We won't curse you with a talking Tea plushie, we will just hunt you down & torture you until we make sure you have a slow and painful death. MUWAHAHAHA! See that's not so bad but make sure you Read and Review!

Peggy: …Uh…yeah Anyways, Yes Read and Review! And aid the mindless i.e. us, and think of a catch phrase while you're flaming! Review us and we'll pick one! Much obliged!

Peggy & Shilly: Jan ne! R & R please! We love you all!... well mostly the bishies but you know…


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